Indictment questions-- pertinent and impertinent...

This is meant to be red meat for conjecture junkies who have time now that the big indictment has come and Trump has been arraigned.  Given the requirements laid out in the Constitution, what options might have been available to the former president short of his present course?  Donald Trump chose a run-for-pardon campaign in an attempt to outrun his crimes.  In so doing, he also made the decision to put himself in a position to expose himself to the various courts in which those crimes were committed in a Roy Cohn-inspired gamble to spit in the eyes of his accusers.

BFFF’s

  This has been a  daring double-down that would engage them in his dash to a pardon-by-presidency.  Trump could boast using his patented  “deny and delay” approach that takes advantage of our legal system’s bureaucratic vulnerabilities to his evil advantage. 

Trump is a desperate man on a mission, but he and his legal team may not represent the sharpest knives in most drawers.  The path he has chosen is a predictable one for him because it is based upon the wisdom of Ben Franklin, whose advice in “Advice to a Young Tradesman”  laid out the premise for the aphorism linking fortune with time:

"Remember that time is money. He that can earn ten shillings a day by his labour, and goes abroad, or sits idle one half of that day, though he spends but sixpence during his diversion or idleness, it ought not to be reckoned the only expense; he hath really spent or thrown away five shillings besides."

— Ben Franklin

Franklin, no doubt, was himself citing a well-used aphorism that dated back to Roman times and was used by penny pinchers through the ages.  My mother, always good at stretching a dollar, used the phrase on me anytime she saw me dawdling instead of working.  Trump, a grifter’s grifter, has been making lemonade from lemons most of his life— and that may prove his downfall.  It seems the stable genius decided that the value of time, aside from putting off his trials until the election, gave him another opportunity to pick his followers’ pockets,

But this time he may have outsmarted himself (no great feat, as it turns out) given what may be more astute alternatives.  Since any of our free advice may offer would be long past its value, I offer the following options and will gladly accept your criticisms and additions.

Consider the rather simple qualifications within the Constitution for running for president:

Article II, Section 1, Clause 5:

No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

Option #1

What if Trump decided that instead of running for president, he should run for the second spot on a ticket he would endorse? Scott- Trump or DeSantis-Trump may have a better chance against Biden than a “Trump-Any Fool”  ticket.  Think about it. As an added feature, if elected (god forbid), the president Any Fool could immediately pardon his VP.  At that point, Trump could retire to Mar-a-Lago or Saudi-A-rabia, wherever. 

Option #2

In this option, Trump should have offered to enter into a plea agreement with DOJ  stipulating that charges not include the sedition “death pill”.  The plea deal would not preclude a presidential run even if convicted.  Trump could run in a jumpsuit over Zoom and his newly-minted Truth or Dare social media site, using his plight as a tool for sympathy and fundraising.  A convicted Trump-behind-bars presidency may appear to be a “safer choice” than a Trump-on-the-loose presidency.  He could argue that the cost of incarceration would be far less than the cost of carting his ass around in Air Force 1.  Foreign visits would require a requisite pass and the U.S. Marshall Service could partner with the Secret Service to provide protection-- for the nations and diplomats he visits.  And just think of the endless opportunities for new merch— prison chic— complete with preppy shirts with a “little hands logo” wrapped around two prison bar stripes with an orange blob between.  

Option #3

In this option— I like this one best— Trump would plead guilty to all charges and agree to testify in all cases on behalf of the government against his accomplices.  This would be followed by immediate entry into the Witness Protection program which would place him in an undisclosed location posing as an eccentric millionaire (see, the difference is he thinks he’s a billionaire, so to him, this would be startling.)  In this scenario, the president has a valid reason to avoid news conferences, foreign trips, and state dinners, and by employing a PO box, he could continue to solicit funds from his peeps.  An added advantage to this plan is that it safeguards the Nation’s Capital from rioting insurrectionists while saving the White House from Melania’s equally revolting Christmas decorations. 

Your Turn

I invite my readers to offer up other options. Can you suggest better ones?  Feel free. Although more limited options could satisfy the KISS Principle so appropriate for a defendant who so adroitly personifies both “Ses.”  I am sure that our advice would be as good or better than that offered by the unindicted, co-conspiratorial attorneys whose combined legal expertise may have purchased him an ankle bracelet and a set of self-locking handcuffs, extra small. 

Oh, wait!  Add the aforementioned jewelry to the online prison-merch suggestion! Call them Clink’n’Bling(!!)— or “charmless bracelets.” We can pitch them on Truth or Dare social!! Worn by the most fascianisti-conscious criminal suspects!

(Voice-over) “As seen on Court TV!!” …/s